One of my daily affirmations is: “I remain established in self referral, not influenced by the criticism of the world.” The crucial question of this report is: ‘To what extent should we allow ourselves as speakers to be influenced by our audiences?’
Lemme tell you a short story. It was generously shared with me at the last NSA convention in Phoenix, Arizona. A fully equipped (CSP, CPAE) keynote speaker gave one of her best speeches ever and she arrived in stentor’s heaven. A fellow speaker from her MasterMind Group assisted her in picking up the many – extremely positive – evaluation forms. Sneaky bastard as he is, he filled out several forms himself with critical remarks about her performance and he put these on top of the whole stack. When everybody had left the auditorium he handed out to her the pile of responses with a big grin. She, fully convinced that the audience totally loved her that evening, told him: ‘Read a few, buddy!’
He started with the first critical remark, then he read the second, then the third. After the third bad comment, her high spirit left and she arrived in speakers hell. He told her about his prank, they laughed and she learned an important lesson that evening. In the future she gave more credit to her own feelings and intuition than to negative audience responses. Interesting isn’t it?
How do you deal with criticism, I wonder? How do you distinguish valuable and insightful nuggets from crappy bullshit? Please share some of your wisdom here.
Speak well,
Hans Ruinemans (:-)
Twitter @hansruinemans
Hans’ Speakers Report http://hansruinemans.wordpress.com
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Group: Community Group for IFFPS – International Federation For Professional Speakers
Subject: New comment (1) on “Need Prozac after the criticism of your audience?”
I run a training organisation providing technical as well as skills based training for accountants, mostly in the UK. As well as speaking for other organisations we run our own courses programme through which we get over 20,000 “bums on seats”. With a client base that regularly attends our programme we use their feedback to assess our speakers, and provide them with a summary of the assessments and comments. We frequently drop speakers from future programmes if they don’t seem able or willing to pitch their talks at the right level.
That said, as a professional speaker I know that we all tend to live for the applause, so to speak. However, you can never please everyone. For some, your presentation will either be too long or too short, too detailed or not detailed enough. The speaker will tend to get a poorer assessment if the room is too hot or too cold, or the refreshment run out. Assessments are basically happiness sheets. If most people are happy, you should be happy too. Read the comments to see if there are any good points, but don’t try to jump through loads of hoops to please everyone. You’ll just fall flat on your face, or get depressed! I agree with Hans – trust your own judgement. You know from the audience’s reaction during your talk whether or not it went well.
Posted by Mike Sturgess
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Group: Public Speaking Network
Subject: New comment (1) on “Need Prozac after the criticism of your audience?”
It is sometimes hard not to listen criticism. I think all type of feedback is good but not constructive. Is important to try and learn from bad criticism also. I am an ESL person and in my current position has been awful and very intimidating experience to speak in public. We have surveys after our programs and I do get comments about people not being able to understand my accent. Sometimes I try to practice at home my pronunciation but I wish I had someone to let me know when I pronounce something incorrectly. Sometimes I get so nervous that I start to think in Spanish and trip a lot on my words. I wish I can get some tips to control my anxiety before speaking to a crowd.
Posted by Jesabel Mudd
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Group: Public Speaking Network
Subject: New comment (2) on “Need Prozac after the criticism of your audience?”
Why not get a speech coach Jesabel? It would help a lot.
As for criticism – I am so sure that what I give is of value, I just don’t worry to much about it. If the criticism would be that I’m not heard or to fast, I’d listen, but I know I’m not.
My content has always been appreciated and new to my audience. YOu have to delivery value. And yes, you have to listen to your audience to change direction, if you are not getting the feeling that they are receiving your gift.
Posted by Barbara Kite
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Group: Public Speaking Network
Subject: New comment (3) on “Need Prozac after the criticism of your audience?”
When I speak or teach at U.C.L.A. they always ask for student feedback. I think it is important to see what people are saying and evaluate whether it is relevant or not. When you speak to many people there will often be people that are critical so you can’t take that personally. I think you have to filter everything said to see if it is of value or not and develop a thick skin because when you do many lectures, you need it.
Posted by Shelley Sparks
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Group: Public Speaking Network
Subject: New comment (4) on “Need Prozac after the criticism of your audience?”
I think criticism is very valuable. My attitude is that I’m there to serve the audience, and if some in the audience are not satisfied with the experience and I can learn something from them that improves my next presentation, I’m eager to hear it. I consider it free market research, and like any business, I think we’d be wise to listen to our market when it talks.
That said, I think you do have to set quiet rules and boundaries about hearing and heeding criticism. For example, I prefer not to hear critiques until at least a few hours after the performance, and I reserve the right to discard a comment if it seems off-base to me. My own instinct is always the final barometer. But if I do something I think something I do is stellar, and several people tell me it didn’t work for them, I listen up!
- Andy Saks
Spark Presentations
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Group: Published Speaker
Subject: New comment (1) on “Need Prozac after the criticism of your audience?”
What’s that saying? “If you please most of the people, most of the time – you are doing well.” As an experienced speaker you should have the insight to know when you are ‘cooking’ on the platform. So if someone doesn’t like you, it’s maybe 2 or 3 out of a hundred people. That’s 97% pass rate. That’s one way of coping with it.
Secondly, I always have the audience lit up. I need to see the audience from the platform, plus I walk into the crowd. This gives me the opportunity to genuinely make eye contact with everyone. Should I see someone not smiling, or, in my mind, not into what I am saying, then I target them in a friendly way until I get a positive reaction.
Also, never get over confident, give 100% at each talk. Never believe because you have done a talk a thousand times, it will always have the same response. You need to be comfortable enough, and knowledgeable enough in your topic that you can adapt and change it to your audiences’ needs. It takes perception and the ability to read the audience in order to win them over.
Finally, I feel that you yourself need to be comfortable with who you are. Yes, as speakers we want to please everyone in the audience. Buy reality is sometimes different from dreams, and you will always get that one negative schmuck. I’m sure you all know someone like that. At the end of the day, by letting that one person ruin your day, aren’t you dropping down to their level? All you can do is give your best, and if you know 100% that you did – you need to be content with that. Never forget that as speakers you are there to inform, educate and steer your audience. There will be times when you do take someone out of their own ‘comfort zone’. If that person cannot see that what you are doing, is it to help them – it’s their loss.
Posted by Wolfgang Riebe
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Group: Community Group for IFFPS – International Federation For Professional Speakers
Subject: New comment (2) on “Need Prozac after the criticism of your audience?”
There is no doubt that over the ten years I’ve been in this business, the greatest tool to my growth has been critical feedback, not just from random audience members but also from friends, colleagues and family. I find I usually need to request the critical stuff, most people don’t want to tell you that you’ve got spinach between your teeth. So I may ask: ‘What didn’t you like? How do you think it could be better?’ It still can hurt and agreed, it doesn’t always fit but if enough people are saying the same thing it’s definately time to look at making some adjustments. I now see my most valuable programs as the ones where I get feedback that makes me improve my style or content. I know one thing for sure if I never listened to critical feedback there is no ways I would be speaking as often as I do. Darwin didn’t say the fittest will surive he said those who are most responsive to change, sometimes those sour faces in the audience are the very one’s that push us to evolve.(And yes, sometimes they’re just sour.)
Posted by Justin Cohen
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Group: Community Group for IFFPS – International Federation For Professional Speakers
Subject: New comment (4) on “Need Prozac after the criticism of your audience?”
As the author of “A Complaint Is a Gift,” I have a very strong position on feedback. It’s essential. And not just to grow and get better. Obviously, that happens. It’s the foundation of quality improvement. If someone is willing to give you feedback, chances are they are telling you and not the entire world. And now you have a chance to engage with that person. I think you have to look beyond what is directly said — many times the seemingly unfair criticism that a speaker receives is just cover for something else they don’t want to say. For example, someone once told me I was too tall. Seems like a slashing remark, and there’s not a lot I can do about this. But if I look beneath that comment, perhaps what they were feeling was that I was coming on too strong. I seemed too big for them. I definitely can be guilty of that. That’s valid feedback, and it’s incidentally, something I’ve heard before. So, for me it’s a good reminder, instead of a stupid nasty audience member. If someone is a little harsh, we really need to own that problem ourselves. What did we do to elicit that response in them. Finally, I would say that because of the nature of this work (speaking in front of large audiences), you are going to always elicit some of this response. Just hope that you hear it and not everyone else at the conference in the hallways or the restrooms.
Posted by Janelle Barlow